I’m still drinking skimmed milk in my tea until the milk runs out – I don’t like to waste. While having this comforting cup of tea- I am really going to miss this- it is such a destresser for me- but it is not the end of the world- it is only tea (‘ONLY TEA!!’ I hear you gasp) I know- who am I kidding- I may savor every last drop!
When I get to work I pencil in 15th January as a day off for me- eeeep. I don’t even have MS- waste of time!
I discuss vegetarianism with Gabriele who works in the cafe. She is becoming a vegan. She lets me taste the almond milk- nutty but not too bad.
I was vegetarian many years ago- as a teenager and it was more about animals/eating disorder back then- not my health. I didn’t have a clue what to eat. It was rural Ireland and your options were potato and meat- and I wasn’t that fond of potatoes. It is a whole new world for vegetarians now- so many options. My lunch break is usually tea and toast (probably why I’m in this predicament) Today I wander around and find carrots and hummus and an egg and spinach pot- both from M&S and both vegetarian friendly. I feel good. Next time I will be more prepared but for convenience M&S has proved to be a star! After lunch I talk to my manager about why I need the 15th January off. I make the conversation as light as possible.. nothing to worry about- I don’t want to make everyone awkward. Besides, I don’t even have MS!
When I finish work, I collect the girls from the childminders and we get home and have food- another M&S pot (Maybe I have MS cause I eat so much stuff from M&S- I’m hilarious and I have a wee smile to myself) I’m okay when everything is busy but if I have a minute to myself- usually when I’m lying in bed and can’t sleep- I have the recurring conversation with myself.. Do I prepare myself for MS or do I stay positive and believe I don’t have MS- but then I’ll be upset if i find out I do have it. What if it isn’t MS and it is something worse. What do I do??? The fear gets in again and my eyes sting– I have to pull myself together- for the girls… I have to act.