Sunday 19th November 2017
I am always busy – Looking after the girls and my husband. Getting stuff ready. Cleaning. Cooking. Cleaning again. Plotting!! When I do sit down I’m thinking what’s next.. or ‘is Trump going to blow us all up’ or ‘the girls are very quiet I must check they are still alive’ or ‘I hope we can reverse the pollution before it is too late’… my mind never settles AND worse than that even though I’m always busy NOTHING ever seems to get done!! I’m running around in circles. I never have a bath. I never have downtime and here I am about to have both!! I ran a bath and poured in A LOT of epsom salts. I lit some candles and I almost locked the door (didn’t lock in incase the girls were crying and my husband didn’t hear them- I know he is on a work related skype call) usually I have a 30 second shower with my youngest outside the glass glaring at me.. probably horrified! Tonight I left my mobile in another room and told my husband to tell me when 30 minutes was up. I sank into the bath and it was pure luxury. I mean it felt amazing. My bones warmed in the hot water. My aching back was soothed… I listened to my own breathing, I watched the candles flicker. I really enjoyed it. For about a minute. My mind switched on again. I fought it but it fought back. 30 minutes!! I deserve 30 minutes!! I needed 30 minutes… so I tried again. I felt a little emotional. Why am I so mean to myself? Then I felt a little nauseated then I was actually pacing in the bath. PACING IN A BATH!! Felt ridiculous (looked ridiculous) so I sat down again. I wanted to google things… things like.. ‘should I bathe the girls in epsom salts?’ ‘Can bathing in epsom salts make you nauseated?’ I got out. Went to my phone. I lasted 20 minutes. I was actually very proud of myself. I am beginning to see how important downtime is. Something I never have (my own fault) This Journey to health is going to cover everything. It won’t be, I mean it CAN’T be about one thing. It is not just about diet, it is about self care, diet, positivity, your whole outlook on life!! Gratefulness, mindfulness – okay I’m getting carried away now!! Settle petal! Booking in for another bath ASAP and I will last 20 minutes AT LEAST!!