A friend read my blog and mentioned some typos.  I need a proof reader for sure! It got me thinking about a problem I’ve been having.  I mix up letters and numbers all the time.  Most noticeably at work.  My manager will ask me to call out an invoice number, say it is 1598 and I’ll read out 5198, or a customer is due 1.95 change and I’ll almost hand them 9.15 before I realise what I’ve done. The same when I am typing.  I will get the letters correct but in the wrong order.  I have genuinely spelt words completely backwards. Something I couldn’t do if I was trying to do it but it is all so natural.  At first I thought it was laziness, then wondered was I always dyslexic just never diagnosed.  I was googling am I dyslexic ( I GOOGLE EVERYTHING) Then I googled ‘mixing up letters and numbers and what came up straight away from medhelp-  “Very, very common for people with MS.  There’s some sort of disease process that attacks the part of the mind that files words”

I really was not expecting this and my heart is pounding as I type this.  I had a great week- I had so much energy- 3 days last week I was like a new person, bright eyed and bushy tailed.  I had convinced myself I definitely don’t have MS and now this.  All roads lead to MS.  I know I am pre-empting a diagnosis but it is hard  not to with this looming over me.  It is easier to put to the back of my mind somewhat but it is always there.  With so much energy this week I thought my supplements and diet must be working, but now I’m trembling- not to be over dramatic but I think I am in shock a little.  I truly did not expect MS to come up in relation to this problem..

I can’t trust my own brain.  It is playing tricks on me.  As I read over this I don’t even know if I am reading what is written or if I am reading it as my brain is reading it- does that even make sense- probably not. Anyone want to sign up to be my proof reader?  I feel sick.

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