I am in danger of sounding self- absorbed. Every thing I write is about me! It is just that I am new to this version of myself. The one seeking health in the face of a possible MS diagnosis. So everything has started to intrigue me. Every spasm, every sharp pain, every dull pain, I would’ve ignored them before but now they set me off on a train of thought -about myself! Maybe it is not self absorption but self-discovery- or maybe that is me being easy on myself. In a world where so much needs our care and attention, am I being selfish focussing on me? Should I continue to ‘just get on with it’ and hope that it goes away? I feel guilty for spending time researching and reading. Time I didn’t have before this- I am taking time out from time I previously spent looking after my babies and husband to delve into my symptoms. I do feel self-indulgent at times and guilty too. Even writing this I am conflicted. When my family and friends read this are they ‘rolling’ their eyes? ‘Get over yourself’ Are they embarrassed by me/for me? I am embarrassed at times, I feel ashamed by my symptoms but I want to be relatable- if someone is going through what I am going through, I want them to reach out to me and connect. I want to help and I know by connecting they will help me, I’ve already experienced that through the bloggers I have connected with. There is comfort to be found in an otherwise very uncomfortable situation. I want to help comfort. I will try to be mindful of my self-absorption so that is doesn’t take over!!