I was born into an Irish Catholic Family.  We prayed the Rosary every night as a family, went to Mass every Sunday, Confessions, Holy Communion, Confirmation, the whole she-bang! But Mass was sooooooooo boring- The Priest just seemed to waffle on and on and we had to sit very still for an hour- which is HARD WORK! So I didn’t really enjoy this version of Catholicism… I looked elsewhere- to Wicca and even Anton LaVey- drastic I know.  I was lost- I believed in God but I fell out of Catholicism and didn’t know where else to go.  When I had got pregnant with my first child I got a job in a Catholic bookshop- of all places and slowly I came back to God and Catholicism.  I believe He led me to this job.  I needed Faith because I could not deal with the responsibility of bringing a life into the world- I needed back-up.  I prayed for my baby to be safe in the womb and I prayed for a safe delivery- when she was born I prayed every day that she would be happy and healthy- I still do.  I have always had crazy anxiety and now I pray and sometimes it helps.  I do have mini anxiety attacks when I can’t think enough to pray in that moment but I am getting there.  (Anxiety is a symptom of MS?) Now I am trying to be a better Catholic- a liberal one but I do believe in a lot of the doctrine and I still find Mass a struggle- really I just wrestle my own children for the hour now- they are not good at sitting still and I don’t expect them to sit still- so we don’t go as much as we should.  I am bringing them up Catholic and if like me they wander I have no doubt they will come back.   I Thank God every day for my babies and their health and my family- I am eternally grateful.  How do people without Faith cope with life??? If someone is sick, I pray, If someone has gone missing, I pray, If someone has died, I pray for their Soul and for their family left behind.  I pray there will be an end to war and starvation and pollution.  By Praying I feel like I am able to do something that I can’t really do much else about ( I do donate to charities and I am trying to help lower my pollution footprint)  I talk to God about everything,  we even laugh at the little tricks He plays- He is a funny one! (He could be a She) who do people without Faith talk to? How do you deal with the stresses?  I just hand mine up to God- safe in the knowledge (some might argue ignorance) that He is in charge and has a plan- because I sure don’t have a plan, I can’t keep everyone safe!!  With this journey I don’t know what to do? Do I pray it is not MS (it could be something worse) or do I pray it is MS (so that I have an answer)?  I don’t know how to pray about this- maybe I just pray that I surrender to His will whatever that might be.. but also sneak in a little please don’t let it be MS or maybe let it be MS if that is the best case scenario… I don’t know!!!!

 

2 thoughts on “Have you Faith?

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