I changed the tagline on my page- it was something like- is multiple sclerosis looming?- but I was never happy with that- for many reasons, one being- if multiple sclerosis is looming, it shouldn’t define me- it really shouldn’t define me before I am even diagnosed! So now it reads- ‘Becoming soul strong’ I think I am happy with this. What am I doing to be ‘Soul Strong’?
- I am learning to not judge- sometimes I have fleeting ‘judgey’ type thoughts but I immediately scold myself- then I judge myself. So to be ‘Soul Strong’ I need to judge less- even myself. People are deep- we only get to see what they show us on the surface- even someone who seems so full of hate- there could be, most likely is a deep pain or a fear, hate comes from fear- that we can’t see- we don’t know where their hate is born of, so don’t judge- accept and show love. The love you show could ease a little pain- Love can change the world.
- Let go- Let go, Let go, LET IT GO! As much as I tell myself I’m over stuff- I know I am not. Rejection- I was rejected in a BIG way by people who were family- my best friends and it hurt me- a lot- I went through the motions- trying to be friends with them, wondering why they hated me now? What did I do? What was wrong with me? and now I do accept (do I? totally?) that maybe it wasn’t my fault after all, their rejection of me is not a reflection of me. But it still hurts, we all swore we would be each others bridesmaids so when they got married, I wondered did they even think of me. Have they cut me out of all the photos they have with me in them? are there 100’s of photos with my face crossed out!! Their rejection of me- helped shape me- maybe even had something to do with the eating disorders (not blaming them because I made those decisions- There were many factors and the eating problems started waaaay before their ultimate rejection of me) I am a better person because of it. I believe this. The pain they caused made me strong- stronger than people give me credit for- just because I cry doesn’t mean I am weak! Part of me will always hope for that big happy reunion but I see they are too full of hate and that it will never happen. Hate has consumed them. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I could’ve gone down that route but instead I chose LOVE- every time I choose LOVE. It was not the first time or the last time I have been/will be rejected. I need to let go of being rejected and not take it so personally. Again- their rejection of me is not a reflection of me… keep saying that over and over!