I joined The Wahl’s Protocol Group on Facebook and I love the group- so supportive and so positive. Yesterday a much -loved member died. She was only 34 years old- she had lupus. She messaged the group on her way to the hospital suspecting she had pneumonia, intestine and kidney trouble. She was scared. I try not to cry reading the message now. She leaves behind a daughter.

I didn’t realise she was so close to death- she was always so kind and positive. I suppose I never realised how bad she was because I only saw what she put in the group and in the group she was a light for everyone else. I hope she finds peace and is pain free now. I am heartbroken for her family and I know The Wahls Protocol group will miss her- something will forever be missing. RIP my friend.

One of her many legacies (for I am sure I am not the only one thinking of her now- even though we never met!) she has encouraged me to continue to be positive. There have been a few mornings/days/moments/nights where I have felt- apathetic- I think I do this when I know I can not deal with what is really going on- I switch off- It is easier than feeling. If she could get up every morning and put on her positive pants- despite the pain she must’ve been in, both physical and emotional, her heart must’ve been so sore. Then the least I can do is try to shine a light- like she did so well. You never know who needs that little nudge of positivity- that little glimpse of light when they may feel they are being swallowed by darkness. I must keep my little ‘positive mission’ alive on facebook in my group Nourish and lift, which I have neglected since I started this particular journey. Everyday I am going to post a positive quote- I may need it more than anyone else in the days that follow with my first neurologist appointment in 17 sleeps. I have decided not to expect too much from this appointment. I will most likely not get any answers but instead will be sent for an MRI. I googled ‘what to expect from my first neurologist appointment’ and found that many people didn’t get answers for months and months and some people didn’t get any answers at all- they didn’t show as having MS so were left in limbo. I guess I entered limo and I have no idea how long I’ll be here.

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